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But he says it's less a fetish as it is a personal preference. No matter whether you are white, yellow or black.
Foreign gay men share their experiences living and dating in the Middle Kingdom - Global Times
It's just about what you like. Some like muscles; some like tall people.
With a stable job, a solid group of friends and a comfortable home complete with a cat, he's committed to living in China long term. He doesn't even mind that he can't get married. Thanks to growing mainstream acceptance of China's LGBT community, including an increase in services like dating apps aimed at this demographic, it's become easier for gay expats to live and date in China.
The perks and pitfalls of dating as a foreigner Luke, a year-old Brit living in Nantong, Jiangsu Province, was enjoying a stroll through the park with his new friend, a cute young Chinese doctor, when their conversation came to a screeching halt. Maybe you could be my boyfriend. Luke, who works in education, has traveled and lived all across China since coming here in , most recently settling in Nantong.
In that time, he's found that being young and foreign not only attracts the attention of locals, but adds to his popularity in the gay dating scene, which can sometimes lead to cultural misunderstandings, or, as in this case, an excess of enthusiasm. Sometimes, instances of Chinese guys coming on too strong, he says, stem from a misapprehension of Western culture.
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The doctor, for example, having heard that Westerners were more "direct," assumed this meant that he should "directly" ask Luke if he wanted to be his boyfriend. Like Nick, Luke says he often draws more attention than locals on dating apps, which he has mixed feelings about. Still, he admitted, the fact that his popularity derives from his "foreignness" makes him feel uncomfortable.
Although Luke is open about his sexuality and is out to all of his family and friends in the UK, he doesn't plan to come out to his Chinese colleagues. Among his gay Chinese friends, he adds, many have come out to their families without being rejected. Of course, culture shock still exists in intercultural dating scenarios.
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I was ready — I downloaded every dating app you could think of — Tinder, Grindr, Romeo, etc. I was excited to be presented with a flock of beautiful and sincere men, from which I would then have to make the heart-rending choice of only one. Instead, I felt like a piece of fruit, thrown into a sty of pigs.
Within a month of using the apps, I realized that being black might not be so easy here , and I interpreted my landlord's comment about me not being an "average immigrant" to mean, "You're not average, negro. Despite all of this, I managed to maintain the hope that somehow someone would actually ask me out for a meal instead of just a hookup.
By the third month, I noticed I was apparently an object. It was not because I was young or any of the personal qualities I came to harshly evaluate after weeks of questioning what was wrong with me.
So I decided to give these hookup apps a chance, in order to do some research on whether these men who had been so kind as to share their dearest fantasies of me would also actually be interested in going out for a meal or, furthermore, embarking on an actual relationship. Interestingly, when I asked, I was immediately dismissed and blocked by the "pretty boys"; the other guys who were interested in meeting me responded pretty much by saying I wasn't their type, while the other handful who were actually up for meeting for a date were mostly over 50 years old or immigrants.
In my experience, the European gay community that I encountered was interested in having me help them fulfill the fantasies they'd created based solely on the color of my skin, but they were completely opposed to the idea of a date or a relationship.